Silencing Survivors: When Speaking Out Against Abuse Becomes ‘Too Political’

If you are sensitive to any political posts at all, I recommend you skip this one. I will be honest with you: I am not very informed on politics at all. I did not keep a close eye on the Presidential race. I choose to keep my focus in my circle of control: my life as much as I can and often, that means I need to silence the news and the noise.

However, I am informed enough to be able to listen to both Democrats and Republican clients. I offer a safe space where they can speak openly.

Politics or not, I don’t think I will ever be able to wrap my mind around how Trump evades responsibility. From the standpoint of a survivor and advocate, watching an abuser repeatedly escape accountability is not just frustrating — it’s a horrifying reminder of how our society protects those who harm, leaving survivors feeling unseen and powerless.

Again, if you do not want to read this, I invite you to close the link. It is okay if we have different views. I will not shame you for yours.

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Before I dive in, some context:

This week I posted this on Threads:

I then shared it to Instagram, where all hell broke loose:

My first thought was:

What they are actually saying is: Jessica stay silent. Don’t speak to the hearts that are shattered. Those don’t count. Don’t speak to ANY client’s terrified right now. Because this is political, don’t speak — not about this — about anything else. But when a woman is raped and forced to bare a child with an abuser and then “co-parent” with them for the rest of their life, can we speak then? Or does that not count either?

This bothered me for a while. Not because of the hate mail I was receiving, because of how this ONLY SILENCES PEOPLE MORE.

When people say “don’t mix politics with your public profile,” they’re showing how deeply they misunderstand both the nature of abuse and the systems that allow it. Abuse is a systemic issue. It’s interwoven with power, control, and societal failures to hold abusers accountable.

I never posted about anything political once before this post. Ever. You can go back and look.

But am I supposed to sanitize my content to keep people comfortable when I talk about something DEEPLY uncomfortable as SURVIVNG EMOTIONAL ABUSE, as if my mission should serve all viewpoints?

True advocacy doesn’t bend to protect people’s comfort — it speaks truth to power, even when it’s hard to hear.

Since a lot of these comments come out of the Abusers playbook, let’s address one of them: “false accusations.”

My post said:

• Convicted Rapist
• 34 Felony Convictions
• Multiple Indictments

So let’s fact check it:

• Convicted Rapist — Nine jurors found Donald Trump had sexually abused E. Jean Carroll, but they didn’t call it “rape.”
• 34 Felony Convictions. — True
• Multiple Indictments — True

So he was not convicted of rape in the recent case involving Trump and E. Jean Carroll, but he was liable for sexual abuse — but because of specific legal definitions.

This distinction is nothing short of a loophole, a technicality that denies survivors the validation they deserve. Let’s be clear: the jury found enough evidence to hold him accountable for serious sexual assault. But because of how “rape” is defined in certain legal contexts, Trump and his defenders can claim he’s not technically a “rapist.”

Do we actually think this is the only person assaulted by Trump?

Regardless of the answer, that is not the point. This is the kind of parsing that survivors face all the time. It’s a deliberate strategy to downplay the trauma, to make the public think that “not rape” means “not that serious.” But sexual abuse and coercion, by any name, is devastating. Survivors of sexual violence know that the harm doesn’t change based on technical language. Being told that it wasn’t “rape,” as if that lessens the violation, is just another way that society silences survivors and minimizes their pain.

Which brings me back to my post and the second part about how it silences victims and what it represents.

The Presidency is the highest office in America.

I recognize that we live in a very polarized political environment (as always) and people choose what topics are polarizing for them. Some people may be focused on the large topics: foreign policy, borders, the economy. And I think there is space for us to have different perspectives on various topics.

I work with survivors of abuse, including those navigating high-conflict divorces and the decision to leave abusive relationships. For them, these issues are not political opinions; they’re deeply personal, urgent fears. Reproductive rights and protections against abuse aren’t abstract policies — they’re immediate concerns that directly impact their safety and freedom.

These are daily realities for many people and they can be terrifying. I work with survivors in states where abortion access is restricted or nonexistent. While I do live in a blue state where my rights will likely always be protected, that doesn’t lessen my worry, care, and concern for those who don’t have that same security.

This is about safety, autonomy, and survival — not politics. As a coach working with people leaving emotionally abusive relationships and navigating high-conflict divorces, my focus is on supporting those who’ve been traumatized, silenced, and left to navigate systems that too often fail to protect them. I see firsthand the devastation survivors face when they feel there’s no safe place to turn.

And too often, the very systems that are in place to protect survivors actually shield their abusers. This is a reality.

And so, I “should” be staying silent on this issue simply because it’s labeled “political”? Doesn’t that deny the feelings of my actual clients? Not the ones that follow me on Instagram and comment. The ones I actually work with.

That seems contrary to everything I stand for. How could I gaslight my entire client base by ignoring the reality they live in? What exactly am I supposed to be ‘soul searching’ for? Should I just ignore the harm affecting children, families, the workforce, and critical conversations around no-fault divorce — just because it hasn’t happened to me personally?

Here’s the hard truth I never talk about: I don’t think I can get an abortion. I’ve had three miscarriages. I don’t think I would be able to get an abortion and live with myself. That is my personal view about my personal body — no one else’s. I almost had a child with a man who was so emotionally coercive that he told me to “fix it” and that I was “ruining his chance at any happiness” when I told him I was pregnant (after hearing for 9 months in the relationship that he wanted a baby with me more than anything). That moment was a battle between my own grief over the children I’d lost and the manipulation I was facing. Ultimately, I miscarried, and my body made the decision for me. I let my body decide where this would go. And this is the point — I have a choice. Many people don’t. And many people are my ACTUAL CLIENTS.

And that’s why I chose not to stay silent and posted one fucking post that validated how so many were feeling.

I’ve seen how easily power and control can be wielded against someone’s most personal decisions, and I know firsthand the devastation that comes when autonomy is threatened.

When we label these issues as ‘too political’ or avoid them for the sake of comfort, we deny the reality for those who live with this fear every day. I speak up because everyone deserves the right to decide for themselves — free from the law, coercion, judgment, or shame.

Now, is my platform going to be a place where I continue to post “political” views?

No! Absolutely not! Because I don’t want to, and I’m not going to.

But I am going to speak to the trauma that a lot of my clients are facing and the fear they’re feeling because that’s real and it’s valid.

Because this is the terrifying reality:

Think of a rape survivor — someone who should be protected and supported — being forced to “co-parent” with their abuser and then facing false accusations of “alienation” if they try to shield their children from that abuse.

Imagine being brave enough to come forward, only to be told by a system that you must carry this child, that you must engage with your abuser for the rest of your life, and that you must ignore your trauma to “co-parent” with them.

What happens when the abuser abuses the children?

And when you set boundaries with this person, or try to move far away from them, because the abuse you’ve experienced is too raw, too damaging, you’re told that you are the manipulator, the “alienator.”

The trauma doesn’t end there; it continues throughout the years because parenting is for life, not just until a child turns 18. This is a reality.

It is horrible and I have worked with clients who have gone through it.

It’s a traumatizing double standard that punishes survivors while empowering abusers. And when we tell survivors and those who advocate for them to stay silent on these injustices — and dismiss their fears as ‘political’ — we reinforce the silence that allows abuse to continue unchecked.

And that was the point of the singular post.

The person in question here is a convicted felon. While the legal system may have narrowly labeled it as ‘sexual assault’ rather than ‘rape,’ he was still found responsible for serious abuse. My post wasn’t about politics. It was about advocating for a safe world for survivors.

As a single parent myself, I have no interest in debating this. This is my stance.

Trust me, I did all of the soul searching and can’t find any place where I would tell an abuser to stay silent….

I am here to support survivors. This is not about arguing but about taking action. In my work, I hear the very real fears of survivors across the country. Just this morning, a client in a red state shared her concerns about reproductive access. We discussed the shelf life of Plan B, her options for long-term birth control, and the steps she needs to take to protect herself. These aren’t hypothetical fears; they’re urgent, necessary conversations for survival that women are facing right now.

I speak up — and the reason I posted what I did is because I know how unsettling it is to feel unheard by society, especially in America right now. I can’t do the work I do and not honor the fears of so many people.

I’m someone who can usually see multiple sides of an issue, but you will never convince me to ‘see both sides’ when it comes to Roe v. Wade. It should never have been overturned, and states should not be able to dictate a person’s right over their own body.

I discuss hard topics every week on my Podcast, and I receive many personal emails about it. I make no money from my podcast; in fact, I pay for hosting and editing out of pocket, because I want to create a space for people to understand the issues that are hard and uncomfortable to process. I write and speak about issues I’ve experienced firsthand — issues many can’t wrap their minds around because they’re complex and painful. But how could I stay silent on something like this? Wouldn’t that be gaslighting the very people I work with every day?

This isn’t about taking sides; it’s about standing up for those who are scared, whose voices are often silenced.

I made one — political — post about silencing of survivors.

Yet, what I was actually saying — without the rape vs. sexual assault fact-check-deflection, is that for many, it’s somehow ‘too political’ to talk about systemic coersion. And so, if advocating for survivors feels divisive, I invite you to ask yourself why that’s uncomfortable. Abuse isn’t a political game or a topic to avoid — especially now. Ignoring it would be gaslighting the countless people who live with this reality every day.

I know what’s at stake. I know that a woman could be harmed, forced to carry a child, and then coerced into co-parenting with her abuser, who will continue manipulating her through the family court system — while the system itself shields him. If we don’t speak up, nothing changes. Thank you to those who support my work and understand that this isn’t about political affiliation; it’s about the impact on real people — survivors who already struggle just to be heard.

I respect diverse viewpoints in this community, I ask that we all recognize the importance of these discussions. Because while survivors fight daily just to be heard, abusers walk free. This work is exhausting, yes, but it’s necessary, and it’s a big deal.

I will now step off my soap box. Thank you to those who read this far. I see you and hear you.

You can find me at emotionalabusecoach.com.